I have not been feeling well today. I'll save y'all the specifities of said affliction, but I will say that I knew the salmon wasn't fully cooked. Say it with me, "it was the salmon mousse...."

Sometime during the afternoon things got a little too much and realized I had to go get something to take care of what was ailing me. So I left my desk and bustled down to the local deli/store to buy some medicine. This set up the always classic, incredibly dignified moment of saying "fine" to the question of "how are you?" while simultaneously putting down a single, solitary roll of Tums onto the counter. Thus ensuring that some total stranger at the local deli knew exactly how I was feeling.

It's kind of like when you go and buy just a box of condoms at the store (as if anybody does it that way), thus letting everyone know you're about to get some.