So I submitted something to some Web site, which will remain nameless for purposes of their sucking, and got rejected. Which is fine because that's all part of the life of the wannabe writer. It's just that the message they sent me was this :"thanks, but no thanks."

Could they be more snippy? I never thought form letters would seem much more polite.

Anyways, here it is. Yeah, laugh's on them, I published it online anyways. I have to admit, though, that I rewrote major parts of it late last night, which is probably why it's not sharp as it should be. Still, I think the concept is pretty good.

Fuckers.

Many a writer and poet have written of the romance of spring. Of how springtime represents renewal and rebirth. Of the harsh chill of winter giving way to the warm, loving sun. Of flowers blooming and leaves returning. Why, just the thought of springtime makes one think of children emerging bleary-eyed from their homes, emerging to laugh and dance around the maypole, the sounds of Tschiakvosky's "The Rites of Spring" in the background.

Spring schming. Give me the cold chill of fall. The fading of the sun and the falling of the leaves.

Why? Three words: New Fall Season.

All new episodes for months. Does it get any better than that?

You want renewal? I've got your renewal. New "Buffy." New "Friends" and "West Wing." New "Simpsons" and even a new "Real World." And the bestest of them all- new "Soprano's". And finally, after months of waiting, we get all of our big questions finally answered. Like what's up with Spike's new soul and whether Buffy will finally stop being a drip. Or what happens with the whole Rachel/Ross/Joey triangle (on second thought, forget about that whole plotline). Not to mention all those great cliffhangers and plot twists that happened on shows that I never watch but some people do.

And you want rebirth, I'll give you rebirth. A whole slew of new shows, all fresh and new, and all vying to be the next "Friends" or "E.R." There's just so much hope in the TV universe despite that fact that most will be yanked before anyone has even the slightest change to watch them. That is if anybody would even think about watching them because there's a good chance that most of them will be awful. It's kind of like how in spring, you get all that drivel about the metaphor between baseball and spring and how baseball brings a new season and how every team starts anew and blah, blah, blah. Well, September's like that too, except that while, say a Tigers fan pretty much knows their team's gonna suck and they have to suffer through an entire 162 game season, with TV, there's a good chance you'll only have to suffer through an episode or two of "Emeril."

Just think about it. No more having to decide if you could sit through one more viewing of an episode you've already seen a bunch of times. No more settling through "American Idol" or "the Anna Nicole Smith Show" just because there's nothing else on. No more working on hobbies or reading a book. We're talking about hours and hours, weeks and weeks, months upon months of brand new frickin' shows.

Bring it on. It's been a long summer.