"Hey Jacques, it's Colin…..Colin Powell. Uh, you know, Secretary of State….of America.

Yeah, I know it's been a long time, comment allez-vous? Ca va? Yeah, I know you guys had a rough summer. Crazy, huh? Good thing that Global Warming thing isn't true (laughs).

So you know, Jacques, I'm calling you because, well, it's about Iraq…..uh….yeah….things are looking a little grim over there….anyways….you know how we said all that stuff about not needing anybody and how we'd go it alone if we had to? Well, umm, gosh, you know, turns out it's not true. It's, ummm, kind of turning out to be a just a tiny bit more difficult than we thought. What can I say? Our bad.

Anyways, look, so we got all sorts of problems going on over there. We keep on getting soldiers killed despite the fact the war's "over", this thing is costing us all sorts of billions of dollars, the Iraqi's are starting to hate us, and terrorists are blowing everything up. So, umm, what we were wondering is, umm, could you help us out? Maybe send over some troops or give us some money or something like that. It doesn't have to be that much, you know, but, well, any little bit would be mucho appreciated. Oh, and I know we've said some awful things about you- that "chocolate remark was a bit over the top- and we said a whole bunch of silly things about how you wont' get any oil money, but, well, we're sorry about that. You know how Dick and Rummy get when they're angry. And trust me, you don't want to see any of that, let me tell you.

Jacques? Jacques? What's so funny?"